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Cinderella Law ? God help the parents of teenagers.

31 Monday Mar 2014

Posted by franv32 in Parenting and family

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

children, Cinderella Law, current affairs, families, parenting, Teenagers, UK

Hey Blog,

Guess what they’re up to now?

Image

Bringing in a law which makes it illegal to emotionally abuse a child. A law which will help to stop – prevent even, emotional neglect by the parent/carer of that child or children.

In an ideal world, I’m all for this.

We should protect the weakest members of our species (although I would imagine that parents of determined toddlers or wreckless teenagers would cry ‘Weak???! Weak??! They’ve nearly broken us!!!!!’).

To visualise a child witnessing and encountering any kind of abuse leaves us, the adults, feeling angry at the perpetrator and earnest to bring about some form of protection for that child. This is the right thing to do.

However,

-how on earth, heaven or hell can this be legislated ?

-How can one person’s definition of emotional abuse, meet another’s?

-Will this law bring about criminal charges for ‘abuse’ which took part 10, 20, 30 etc years ago (as it currently happening with sexual misconduct accusations)?

-This law could be used to ill effect.

-This law could be in itself abused.

This law, if it comes about, is going to be used by every, single, self obsessed, hard done by, stroppy teenager to their own end.

Teachers of children age 11 up must be pulling out their hair, grinding their teeth, sharpening pencils to stick in their eyes, rocking in a corner saying ‘no, no, NOOOOOOOOOOOO!’ – perhaps. It is just a suggestion………but we know, don’t we? We know what our little darlings are going to try on us at home:

‘Mum, if you don’t give me this, that, the other and let me do this, that and the other, I am going to report you for emotional abuse’

‘Tell you what, oh child of mine, you’ll be reporting me for physical abuse too if you carry on with that line.’

I can also feel the Daily Mail gearing up (rubbing their hands with glee) about this topic. They must already be on the search for every, single chippy 20/30/40 year old who feels that they can whinge to an audience about the fact that their parents ‘didn’t show them any love’ – if I sound harsh, it’s because this law, despite it’s great potential to help a genuine case of neglect, is going to bring all manner of emotionally deficient mud life to the surface: all manner of self seeking types who probably have had a very good upbringing but are starved of attention…..or rather, starving for attention. This law scares me a little.

Now, I shall admit that I am not the most affectionate parent to the children of mine who are taller than me! However, what they lack in receipt of physical affection from me, I hope I make up in the manner that I speak to them (when I’m not shouting); the jokes that we can share; the banter – (the washing of clothes, the cooking of food, the encouragement when they do a good thing, the pulling them up on all the dumb things they do…….because..it WILL make their future selves, better)? Is the fact that the Prodigal’s self medicating as a result of emotional abuse?

Well, I can’t answer that one, can I? Some people would claim that it is.

What constitutes good parenting? Is what is good for one child, good for another (that’s the line I take in this house with regards to rules – although not necessarily in how I deal with the rule breakers)?

What I hope with this possible Law is that when evidence is being gathered, a LOT of common sense is used; a lot of different people are involved in giving their witness statements – a full and well rounded case is presented before the court – closed or otherwise.

I hope also that if this law is passed that it lifts up out of abuse, genuine cases of neglect and puts them in a far happier and emotionally secure environment.

As ever, I shall post this unedited. Again, please edit for me. I shall listen (barely).

p.s. Mother, can you imagine if they had brought in this law when your child number 2 was a teenager? I think his teachers would have resigned and been taken away by the white coated ones. /;

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Exchanging wine for a boomerang?

12 Wednesday Mar 2014

Posted by franv32 in current affairs, humour, Living in France, Parenting, Parenting & family, Parenting and family, Raising boys, teenagers and alcohol

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

current affairs, family, living in France, parenting, raising boys, teenagers and alcohol, toddlers

Howdy Blog and a very warm welcome to my new followers – may we enjoy 1,000s of blog entires together….

I’ve just lost you haven’t I?  You can’t answer as you’ve already spaced out and moved on to a better, brighter, funnier, more insightful Blog – in case you’re waivering, I’ll insert an extraordinary picture (which truly has nothing whatsoever to do with this post):

Image

Things we now know that we didn’t know last week:

-Passenger planes can just vanish OR Governments/Army/Navy can not tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth….or nothing at all, as in this case.

-When large lorries, travelling at speed in the middle of a country lane where the road narrows, break hard and quickly, they skid for about 20 metres…..you can also smell burned rubber for about two miles further on up the road…….or was that coming from my foot as I JAMMMMED THE ANCHORS coming against the said lorry, with no where to go but a wall or a river?

-Bob Crow died. Who are Daily Mail reading London Tube passengers going to moan about now?

-When you invite lots of people to your house, perhaps consider that they might all turn up so be prepared – that showed me, didn’t it? And them…..

-When people (moi?….jamais) say ‘I’m going to sell this baby’, they don’t really mean it and the person they are having this lighthearted exchange with, REALLY shouldn’t take it as literal……because….I wouldn’t have sold the baby, I would have given him away.

The Family

I can feel that you are all desperate to hear news of the 5 boys and the Woofy?

So are the local police.

All right, all right:

The Prodigal 

I’ve not managed to find ONE empty alcohol container over the past 3 weeks. This means that

a)he has turned a corner and given up or

b)he is getting better at hiding them or

c) my eyesight is getting worse

d)he sneaks back into the neighbour’s house and ‘steals her wine and leaves his boomerang’ (her very words to me via a charming email about teenagers and alcohol and the dangers and how my son is leading her daughter astray….I should probably return the favour and reply with a charming response warning of the dangers of teenagers and say….oh…..marijuana and how her daughter is leading my son..if not, astray, then stumbling slightly off the Path towards the Righteous Parent? But I’m not enough of a bitch…actually, I am….but my Level of Bitch in French is pas bonne.  In English or French, I still cannot grasp what she meant by the boomerang – it’s probably the same case for her).

Image

The Face

‘Prodigal, does that make me Jesus as I cured your jaw when I kicked a football at it?’

Image

The Prof

Dunno as I’ve not seen him for nearly two weeks

The Lips

ditto – i do hear though that they (the Prof and Lips) have studied hard and are getting more serious about knocking the hell out of each other.  I’m very much a stand back (and block my ears and eyes) and let them get on with it . Up until blood is spilled or worse,  they’re about to break something I like, then I’ll step in.

Fatty

Turned 3.

‘So Fatty, remember we said that on your 3rd birthday, you are going to throw away all of your dummies (soothers)?”

‘I DON’T WANT TO BE 3!!!!!!!’

He made me think of how his father is when he has run out of Nicorette gum. I found him searching under things; lifting things up;looking looking looking looking with that crazy, addict look and yearning for his drug of choice (sillicone in his case).

He found one in the car and knew he had conquered and crushed my No Dummy Phase I stage (little hands clamped around a dummy have a strength that surely goes against all physiological possibilities).

Later, I found him face down on the floor under his little table……face down to hide what he had in his mouth.  No Dummy Phase II stage destroyed.  In the Tug of Dummy which occurred after this:  Fatty’s grip 1  Mummy 0.

Things that Fatty says:

‘Can I open more presents now?’  on waking up the day after his birthday.

‘if a shark wanted to eat me, I would turn into a snowman.’

And,

‘Fatty, where is your other shoe?’

” is it behind my ear?’

The Woofy

She’s getting a bit porky around the middle but that’s not surprising as she spends most of her time hanging around Fatty who has an extremely generous  nature especially with a packet of biscuits and his breakfast, lunch dinner, knife, spoon, fork. He is also generous with sharing his sword with the Woofy ‘see she likes being hit with it.’ and sharing his sense of fun as he pulls her tail and goes ever so near to her ‘what’s that mummy? is that where her baby comes out?

‘GET YOUR HAND OUT OF THERE NOW< FATTY!!!!!’

OH and better not to forget, The Husband

Is still away. yes, I know, he has been away rather a lot but at least this time he took 2/5 with him. I know that you are wondering if he’ll buy me another family pack of chocolates by way of a present from his holidays. I’m feeling lucky. I think that he might.

—

Ok, thank you for reading. Feel free to leave a comment – if I don’t like them, I won’t approve them…..I HAVE the Power!!!!  Also, as I’m not going to edit (EVER) feel free to make the corrections. I’ll read them, take note and then empty my brain of them.

So, I’ll leave you with a line by one of my all time favourite characters (plus he reminds me of my brother, Fingers):

You can lead a horse to water, but a pencil must be led.

Stan Laurel

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And in other news…..

05 Wednesday Mar 2014

Posted by franv32 in Parenting and family

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

current affairs, family, getting dressed, humor, kids, news, parenting, supermarkets

Blog, my friend, I’m back a day earlier than usual. Does that suit?

As World War III approaches, I am glad to report that Life goes on:

-King Tuheitia is having a strop with the (English) Royal Bureaurocracy department who organised the Pit Stop visit (of Prince William, Mrs. Prince William and Prince William Jnr) to Australia and New Zealand.  As there is no King of Australia, although don’t you still have a Queen? and no, I’m not talking about Sydney during Mardi Gras. I’m talking about Queen Elizabeth II (how to rub an Aussie up the wrong way) –  I’m referring to the proud…..oh so very proud King of the Maori  (North Island, NZ). Now, I’ve probably just rubbed some Kiwis up the wrong way. Don’t worry, I’m bound to insult some French, Dutch and English during my travels around Nowhere before the day is out.

-A new bird species has been found…….somewhere…

And, my favorurite piece of news: ‘teacher tapes up pupils mouths’

Getting Dressed

I tend to throw on my running gear.

Most days I walk around in lycra.

My idea is this: if I put on my running gear, I’m more likely to go running.

My idea has holes shot through it every, single day as we arrive at 18.00, still lycra’d and the only huffing and puffing, elevated heart rate-ing that has happened  during the day is when I have gone to get some milk/sugar/bread/butter/custard and realise that there is none (in the empty packaging left in the cupboard/fridge/floor/workbench). These foodstuffs have evaporated, combusted because No-one (wait until I get hold of him) must have done it.

Today, I was out of clean lycra except 3/4 length blue leggings. I couldn’t risk these as the hair on my legs would like get caught up in the wheels of the trolley at the supermarket. 

At the supermarket

I’ve lost my sense of reason today as I allowed Fatty free …..free…FREEEEEE to run around the supermarket.  He nearly managed to trip up an old guy as we came through the entrance. The old man smiled and said Bonjour to fatty.

On your marks, get set, GOOo!!!!         And he’s off. Past the juices, up and around the frozen section, past the eggs and out of sight! HORROR of horrors – a toddler out of sight.

‘FATTY. YOU GET BACK HERE NOOWWW!!!!!!! ELSE THE BAD MAN WILL TAKE YOU!’  Whilst at the same time, my gaze is tempted by an offer on a steamer…..which I really, really do need…17 euros, 3 yr guarantee.really. ….ok, back to lost child.

So, the old guy we met at the entrance looked at me in absolute TERROR. He thought that I’d meant him.  He scurried off, turning back to scowl at me every so often.

Image

I felt a teeny bit guilty.

But not ridden with guilt as I think almost everyone is a paedophile anyway….one day I’ll learn to spell that.

Adios, Au revoir, See ya.

Yes, the post is unedited YET again. Post the corrections via the comments sections. All gratefully received.

 

 

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And then we were down to three (boys and a dog)

02 Sunday Mar 2014

Posted by franv32 in Parenting and family

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

family, humor, marriage, parenting, raising boys

Good morning  mon cher and happy Sunday to my thousands of followers,

Image

The Husband, the Prof and the Lips have just thrown some belongings into supermarket bags (for life) and are heading north for the holidays.

This leaves me with the dog, Fatty, the Face and the Prodigal.

What this means to me:

Now, we’ll REALLY be able to get to grips with who pees around the base of the toilet; who never flushes; who is smashing, breaking, cracking, scratching, marking everything; throwing around contents of rooms, boxes, the kitchen and walking off and leaving it, the mess, unclaimed.  Two (actually, let’s make that three as the Husband has potential for some if not all of those) are out of the equation. 

The Face and Prodigal are onto this. They know that when half of the Tribe of Potential Blame is out of the house, they have to watch themselves…….. if they’re really desperate they can blame the dog, who, as far as I am aware is not able to climb up into cupboards and open tins of sweets, chocolate, biscuits, crisps and cleverly stuff the empty packets under sofas, cushions, down the sides of beds…..but I’ll keep an open mind. Labradors, after all, are well known for their capacity to be trained.

If you follow this blog, you’ll know that the Husband ONLY arrived back from Paris last Sunday. Also, if you follow this blog, you’ll remember that the last time he came back after a two week holiday trip, he was bearing gifts (for a not so very high class pole dancer). This time – this time, what did he bring me back?

A family size packet of maltezers.

The ‘dog’ ate half of them.

p.s. that photo has nothing to do with the blog.  I just liked it. It’s how my head feels most of the time – kind of stripy and spinning. Come to think of it, it’s how my hair looks too (yesterday the Prodigal did my highlights for the first time).

We confess our little faults to persuade people that we have no large ones

Francois de La Rochefoucauld (1613 – 1680)

 

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‘And what is it that you do?’

18 Tuesday Feb 2014

Posted by franv32 in Parenting and family

≈ 5 Comments

Tags

parenting, self awareness, self esteem

Dear Blog,

You know what? When I was asked this question back in December by an up and coming…..in fact, probably already HERE, Artist, my response was:

‘Nothing.’

Her interested gaze flickered and died.

I tried to shrug this off and made a comment along the lines of being a domestic slave but I may as well have just switched the off button on myself.

Although I cannot claim that I am particularly interesting or brilliant, I have never before had to answer that question with that response.

The fact is, in the world that is not motherhood, I don’t do anything. 

Or do I?

This got me thinking:

-is it so bad to just be a mother? Not if that is what you want; if that is something you do well (ahem); if that is something you find totally fulfilling.

-Do I just want to be seen just as a mother? No.

-Why should I care how I am seen? Now, on the whole, I don’t but I also hate to be overlooked (4th child out of 8 – explains that one).

I’ll discuss this again (no doubt, relent-less-ly).

 

A new dawn

Image

Now, this is what I do, most mornings:

I see the dawn (sometimes).

‘This will be the day that I get fit, become intelligent, learn French, German, Italian, English grammar, good manners, learn to be a fabulous cook (yep, never happen in a day, will it?), will have a spotless and organised house (again, never happen in a day, month, year, decade), will be a faultless parent, charming and supportive friend, will begin (again) my marathon training, will put all of my 7 gazillion photos into photo albums………and so on.

As I look out at the sun setting, I slump down onto the (dirty) kitchen table and am glad that I achieved:

-remembering to pick up the kids, dirty pants, dirty towels, burned the dinner.

“A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.”
― Winston Churchill

Ok – just realised that Thursday is my blogging day. Lucky you, dear Readers, you might get two dollops of ME this week.

 

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