Blog! How are you?

Not so good? Well, everyone has days like that. Tomorrow it will be different……….maybe not better…..maybe worse in fact….but different.

Parenting tip no. 1: I’ve shared these wise words (above) with the kids countless times. I can tell that they take real comfort in them  (although I have noticed that they look horrified, possibly dumbstruck and definitely tearful when they hear them. I guess they are just filled with love for me and my sound parenting skills).

Blardey hell! The flatulent guest has just released the F-bomb (the fart to top all farts).  The old girl has one more night with us before her human parents return tomorrow. I’ve been checking that she is breathing when she falls asleep. I’m hovering around her like some neurotic parent of a new born baby.  Just stay alive for a few (12?……24?) more hours PLEASE?

Good things today:


I’ll come back to this.

Bad or annoying things today:

-sick kids

-whineging 2 year old

-arriving at the dr’s surgery and being stood up……by the dr.

-missing out on a banana bread morning (actually that should go to top of the list).

-picking up enough soggy dog shite to fill four nappy bags (scented but lacking the power to overcome that particular odour).

-whingeing two year old.

-sick Prodigal who ‘NEEDS to leave the house.’ as he has split up with his ex current ex current ex ex current current girlfriend

-not sleeping last night (yes, I know I DO go on about this – my husband tells me the exact same thing – but I’m going to moan about it anyway) because a)the farking dogs doing things in my room they shouldn’t b) I overate at dinner….. yep, second time this week that a stomach ache from a stuff up has kept me awake. Will I learn?…….. well, actually I have. I had a fried egg on toast for dinner tonight.

the problem here is this:

I’ve also drunk half a bottle of wine.

in another hour, I’ll THINK I’m hungry again………and will also need more wine……

Never mind. Tomorrow is Saturday so I can sleep in until  what?………oh goodie – 7.30 a.m………

The party that wasn’t intended, is tomorrow afternoon.

The Lips turns 6 on Monday.

6 years since I fractured my ankle in an Australia playground and I just happened to be 9 plus months pregnant. Ah….happy memories.  The Husband coming back with coffees (he had taken a half day from work) to find me on the floor. Him not panicking AT ALL and running around a bit…….very together…..  Him running off again to get me a taxi to take me to the hospital.  Me, finally in the taxi (how?) and a drunk guy opening the door and nearly sitting on top of me. Me, in the waiting room after the X ray, hearing two medical people say ‘ohhhh!! She is what? 9 months pregnant? Who is going to have to break this news to her?’. Me, sitting in the X ray room (still) and nurses coming in to have a gawp at the pregnant idiot.  The Husband, calling my mother (visiting) to get to the hospital to pick me up. My mother, borrowing someone’s car and driving all of the way with the handbreak on (they sold that car not long after). So I gave birth with my ankle to knee in a cast, wrapped in black bin liners……but not until a few weeks later.  I had crutches to get around on before then and for 6 weeks after. No car. Lived on the top of a very steep hill and had a 14 month old (plus The Prodigal and The Face and a husband who worked until 10.30 p.m. most nights) . Still……..HAPPY MEMORIES!

Anyway, it is his party tomorrow.

Entre nous, I DREAD these events. DREAD them. Last year, the B’stard kid (and there is always one) threw something at The Lip’s head so hard that he had this Harry Potter like scar for…..actually, I think it is still there. And guess who is coming tomorrow? Plus 9 other buggers………..actually, make that 7, as Mrs. East Coast is bringing two (plus one) of hers and naturally, they do not come under the ‘other bugger’ category (phew…do you think she’ll notice I did that turnaround?).

Blog – I’m going to have to call it a night.

This is probably a good thing.

Just to leave you with something Fatty said yesterday:

‘Where do you come from, Fatty?’, I ask, affectionately from something cute he has just done.

‘I come from a retard.’ he  replied.

Out of the mouths of babes………………..

Sweet dreams, Blog (and my HUGE followers group).