Blog,

Listen, when I tell you that I’ve missed our exchanges…….or rather non-exchanges as it’s one way (thank goodness computers can’t answer you back……YET!).

Radio 4.

The Archers. Omnibus.

They used my favourite poem for Jolene and Kenton’s marriage ceremony!!!!!!!!! I found this quite shocking. I don’t think it has the same resonance? sense? feeling? spirit? as it once had (W. B. Yeats – He wishes for the cloths of heaven – put that in for you Bogster, as I know that you …..well, like to know). I’ve loved that poem since I was 17 years old.

Doggy business

So,

I’m incredibly sorry to tell you, Blog, that that incredible farting dog is now farting in another realm…..releasing spiritual gas to celestial beings.

Entre nous, when I heard the news, I did cry.

I then took our very alive woofy for a walk and had ……another cry.

I then found photos of Farting Dog and enlarged the part of the photo that had just her in it.

Connected to this or not, I also became Doggy Broker and have placed a potential Farting Dog of the future from a home where ‘the puppy goes or I go’ (guess which sex of the partnership stated this?) to the home of my cousin. I’ve enjoyed great times with my cousin and family…….but…..what if …… ah well….. perhaps they’ll ask for their commission to be refunded.

Ageing

Whilst I’ve been having my little…….rest….from blogging, I also accidentally became AGED. Jesus. I’m now OVER FORTY. I DON’T FIND IT….hang on, better with the caps off… a wonderful experience getting older. I’m now a bit like a vampire……the mirrors and daylight avoidance thing? Well, it’s simple – JUST AVOID MIRRORS IN DAYLIGHT. In fact, just avoid daylight. But do……BUT DO LOCATE ALL PUBLIC TOILETS in any area you are likely to go. And start comparing adult nappy prices/styles  (yes, brother number ….hang on…1,2,3,4,5..yes, brother no. 5, I know that you once said the worst combination of words in the English language is Adult and Nappy but these Pampers clad Elephants in the room, need to be addressed).

Bad behaviour

So, get this:

Me and the husband find some charming lunatics who agree to come to our house and stay there (with the children) whilst we go out.

Our very first night out together in Nowhere is at F’aussie’s house for her birthday.

We get there and as she had lots of ‘gay people’ visiting, the house looks Party-tastic-fab-u-LOUS!

We’ve even agreed beforehand (along the lines of Me suggesting: ‘YOU’RE DRIVING!!!! As you’re always getting drunk and I never am’ ) that I can have a few drinks and let my hair down.

We’ve confirmed to the couple who (we’ve tied down to the chair) are babysitting, that we’ll be a couple of hours…….

…………

Camera 1: Me singing at the top of my voice when I stop to ask myself ‘what is that strange light i can see coming over the hill?’ And

‘where is everyone?’

I stagger around, have some memory of my husband shouting some abuse at he as he left (v v late) and I DUG IN MY HEELS IM NOT GOING HOME AS IM HAVING TOO MUCH FUN… when I see one of F’Aussie’s kids who is COMING DOWNSTAIRS TO BREAKFAST.

Yes, not my finest moment. I did however manage to pour milk onto her cereal without falling headfirst into the bowl.

the strange light I could see coming from over the hill?

It was the dawn.

Here’s a tip – NEVER EVER GO TO A PARTY AND TAKE OFF YOUR WATCH.

I had to sit on a sofa and wait until I was better (yes, I wasn’t hungover but not well……) to drive home. And how pleased to see me, they all were when I did crawl in through the front door……at 11. 30 A.M. especially when I went to bed (I was sick, remember), got up at 2 p.m. to have some lunch, get sent back to bed ‘you look like you are 100 years old’ and stayed in bed until 7 a.m. on Monday. Oh, my husband just ruffled my hair and said ‘oh, you are a one, aren’t you?’ but he must have said it in French….it;s what he meant to say  but somehow  it sounded like he said ‘putain. merde. la vache.’

Blog, so much rubbish to tell you and so little time (management).

Au revoir, my good friend.

Until……. well, actually, demain soir we have been invited for dinner to a French household in the village.

It’s ok though, as it’s the ones I mentioned in blog 4?….you don’t recall? The ones who came to pick up their kids and we drank 4 or 5 bottles of wine? yes, it’s them. With wine, I am fluent in french.

The family

Well in case you are wondering, they are all still up to their usual nonsense (some more than others). We did have a new soon to be made classic the FAce moment, involving some names on the classroom parent representative list. His pronounciation of Virgenie was inspired!

ok, i’m off.

until next time, Bloggy.