You know what? When I was asked this question back in December by an up and coming…..in fact, probably already HERE, Artist, my response was:
Her interested gaze flickered and died.
I tried to shrug this off and made a comment along the lines of being a domestic slave but I may as well have just switched the off button on myself.
Although I cannot claim that I am particularly interesting or brilliant, I have never before had to answer that question with that response.
The fact is, in the world that is not motherhood, I don’t do anything.
Or do I?
This got me thinking:
-is it so bad to just be a mother? Not if that is what you want; if that is something you do well (ahem); if that is something you find totally fulfilling.
-Do I just want to be seen just as a mother? No.
-Why should I care how I am seen? Now, on the whole, I don’t but I also hate to be overlooked (4th child out of 8 – explains that one).
I’ll discuss this again (no doubt, relent-less-ly).
A new dawn
Now, this is what I do, most mornings:
I see the dawn (sometimes).
‘This will be the day that I get fit, become intelligent, learn French, German, Italian, English grammar, good manners, learn to be a fabulous cook (yep, never happen in a day, will it?), will have a spotless and organised house (again, never happen in a day, month, year, decade), will be a faultless parent, charming and supportive friend, will begin (again) my marathon training, will put all of my 7 gazillion photos into photo albums………and so on.
As I look out at the sun setting, I slump down onto the (dirty) kitchen table and am glad that I achieved:
-remembering to pick up the kids, dirty pants, dirty towels, burned the dinner.
“A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.”
― Winston Churchill
Ok – just realised that Thursday is my blogging day. Lucky you, dear Readers, you might get two dollops of ME this week.
Some people are very dull and some very interesting. The rest of us are some where in the middle. If you are a dull person you were dull before the children came along. Artist Sm-artist! Hearing an artist talk about their work of art (drawing) and why the used placenta and babyfood (instead of paint) to express themselves makes me want to pull out my eyeballs, so i couldn’t see the offending piece of art, and stuff them in my ears!
You can show this to the artist…it might produce a different facial expression…..
I agree with you, Vorn, on the whole. To be fair on this artist, she didn’t over do the talking about her art (enough to get people to buy it, I suppose). Luckily for me, her art actually looked like something I could recognise and unlike something a toddler could do when left with the paint box.
But yes, some people very are VERY dull…..not us though, eh?
TOO MUCH NAVEL GAZING!
‘This will be the day that I get fit – you run miles, you ARE fit
become intelligent – we’re reading this by choice, we know you already are
learn French – you speak it daily
German, Italian – pointless to learn more than a few phrases unless you’re going to actually use it
English grammar – you can always ask me, the other one or Google
good manners – as with intelligence. Who was that ARSE who didn’t even have the manners to respond when you said you didn’t ‘work’? Fuckwit. (Do I know them?)
learn to be a fabulous cook (yep, never happen in a day, will it?) – what for? so the kids will thank you for it? Ha!
will have a spotless and organised house (again, never happen in a day, month, year, decade) – not unless the kids and husband move out
will be a faultless parent – you only need to be a ‘good enough’ parent. Theres no such thing as faultless parenting
charming and supportive friend – see intelligence and manners
will begin (again) my marathon training – don’t you have enough on your plate with getting your taxi licence, or are you doing all that driving out of the goodness of your heart?
will put all of my 7 gazillion photos into photo albums – meh, one day you’ll bring them to Snappy Snaps, have them put on a memory stick and let iPhoto sort them
As I look out at the sun setting, I slump down onto the (dirty) kitchen table and am glad that I achieved: SURVIVING THE DAY AS A FULL TIME MOTHER – Well done you.
Hah! Bogster, thank you for that shot of ‘how great are you?’. To be honest, the artist wasn’t rude and wasn’t talking about herself too much. This episode was about me being faced with realising that I had been just a mother for over 7 years as oppose to a working (mother) woman etc.
Despite this, you make some very valid points.
My taxi sign is on green and the first drop off of the day is due…time to put on the meter.
Well quite. I think one of the failings of Feminism in its current iteration is that it has left women feeling they must do “more” than be “just” a mother. If you want to truly do something else and it’s for own sense of self then you must do it and you will find a way. However setting yourself unrealistic goals with the result of berating yourself for being “just” a mother is what’s known as a Mug’s Game round these parts. Being a full time mother is more challenging and demanding than any of the goals you refer to. Why do you think I get out of bed to come to the office every day?