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Blog, my friend, I’m back a day earlier than usual. Does that suit?

As World War III approaches, I am glad to report that Life goes on:

-King Tuheitia is having a strop with the (English) Royal Bureaurocracy department who organised the Pit Stop visit (of Prince William, Mrs. Prince William and Prince William Jnr) to Australia and New Zealand.  As there is no King of Australia, although don’t you still have a Queen? and no, I’m not talking about Sydney during Mardi Gras. I’m talking about Queen Elizabeth II (how to rub an Aussie up the wrong way) –  I’m referring to the proud…..oh so very proud King of the Maori  (North Island, NZ). Now, I’ve probably just rubbed some Kiwis up the wrong way. Don’t worry, I’m bound to insult some French, Dutch and English during my travels around Nowhere before the day is out.

-A new bird species has been found…….somewhere…

And, my favorurite piece of news: ‘teacher tapes up pupils mouths’

Getting Dressed

I tend to throw on my running gear.

Most days I walk around in lycra.

My idea is this: if I put on my running gear, I’m more likely to go running.

My idea has holes shot through it every, single day as we arrive at 18.00, still lycra’d and the only huffing and puffing, elevated heart rate-ing that has happened  during the day is when I have gone to get some milk/sugar/bread/butter/custard and realise that there is none (in the empty packaging left in the cupboard/fridge/floor/workbench). These foodstuffs have evaporated, combusted because No-one (wait until I get hold of him) must have done it.

Today, I was out of clean lycra except 3/4 length blue leggings. I couldn’t risk these as the hair on my legs would like get caught up in the wheels of the trolley at the supermarket. 

At the supermarket

I’ve lost my sense of reason today as I allowed Fatty free …..free…FREEEEEE to run around the supermarket.  He nearly managed to trip up an old guy as we came through the entrance. The old man smiled and said Bonjour to fatty.

On your marks, get set, GOOo!!!!         And he’s off. Past the juices, up and around the frozen section, past the eggs and out of sight! HORROR of horrors – a toddler out of sight.

‘FATTY. YOU GET BACK HERE NOOWWW!!!!!!! ELSE THE BAD MAN WILL TAKE YOU!’  Whilst at the same time, my gaze is tempted by an offer on a steamer…..which I really, really do need…17 euros, 3 yr guarantee.really. ….ok, back to lost child.

So, the old guy we met at the entrance looked at me in absolute TERROR. He thought that I’d meant him.  He scurried off, turning back to scowl at me every so often.


I felt a teeny bit guilty.

But not ridden with guilt as I think almost everyone is a paedophile anyway….one day I’ll learn to spell that.

Adios, Au revoir, See ya.

Yes, the post is unedited YET again. Post the corrections via the comments sections. All gratefully received.