I stopped to fill the car with petrol.

This takes some time…….and money…. in fact, so much money that it would probably be cheaper to hire a chauffeur.  And yes, this time I did remember to use the right fuel. I know that I did put petrol in a diesel car once – I remember. My husband reminds me regularly (EVEN THOUGH it happened 3 years ago).  He remembers with fondness….I can tell….that day that I turned up in a taxi, barged into the house and said:

‘there’s a taxi waiting outside to take you back to Nowhere town.’


‘The car isn’t working. It’s full of shopping. It was making a really funny noise’

Pause as he takes this in.

‘Oh and I think that I filled it with unleaded……I realised so stopped driving (after about 2 miles). Can you go and sort it out? ‘

ah….such lovely memories.

Anyway, getting back to today –

So I queue behind one woman at the pre pay pump (as of course, I have a right hand drive in a left hand drive country and she is at the pump I need).

She is having difficulties with the instructions. Do I help? No I blardey don’t. I change pump terminals (you know what I mean).

An oldish lady pulled up to use the other side of my petrol pump terminal (what is their proper name?).

She got out, looked at the pump, looked at her car, looked at the pump.  Here we go, I say to myself.

She opened the boot. She pulled the petrol pump towards the boot full of shopping. The celery shuddered. The baguette sagged. I thought to myself ‘ooh, very novel. That car takes petrol via the boot. Nice idea’  (hang on, which one of us is batty?).

Meanwhile, the lady on the pre payment pump is trying to stick her card into the paper dispenser….

My old lady, looks at the pump, looks at her shopping. Looks at her keys. PUts back the pump (yep, it does take this long to fill my car. Indeed) and then ………well, I was done so we’ll leave you with that cliff hanger. Suggestions via the comments section would be gratefully received. A ball of string and a pair of marigolds to the funniest answer.

Happy Woman’s Day!