(Father) Blog,

It has been (about) 15 days since my last confession……

My sins? Well, I’ve committed a few minor ones which include:

swearing, swearing, swearing, thinking bad thoughts about my husband and children, more swearing, further bad thoughts of family, swearing…. oh and I smiled at a man who isn’t my husband in Carrefour.

I shall say 500 Hail Mary’s but I CANNOT promise that I won’t continue to sin along the same lines……..in fact, just a minute ago me and the Courier Post guy broke all rules of Nowhere etiquette and are now on first name terms. So that’s two men who aren’t my husband receiving smiles from me on consecutive days.

Howdy to Texas, one of my new followers. I saw both mails. I am now in email debit to you.

Family Life

So we left the blog of Day 14 on the AA meeting cliffhanger.

The Prodigal and I struck a deal: He has to run EVERY lunchtime which should prevent him from purchasing 32 cent beers from Aldi (and then willy nilly cutting people’s hair. Never a successful marriage – alcohol and sharp scissors).

How does he prove it you ask?

Well, Mapmyrun app uses GPS to position the runner on a map (and send the evidence to the runner’s mother).

IF he doesn’t carry on doing this, then off we go to the Nowhere AA meeting. From what I see of driving skills (lack of) in Nowhere, during these meetings, the roads around here must be deserted.

Gems from the Face

Part I

I took all 5 of THEM to a supermarket. Whilst we were there, rather untypically, I spot a 6 foot plus tranny, of a certain age but giving it a go so fair play to him.

The Face has previous for pointing and shouting the bleedin’ obvious and has regularly  found my hand pressing down around his gob to stiffle his observances.

I was too late this time. I just hope the Madame Guy Bloke was French and his understanding of English, limited. His understanding of pointing and gawping? well, maybe he had poor sight….

Anyway, telling the husband about a man dressed up in women’s clothes, loitering around the meat section,the Face cries out:

‘yeah, it was a brilliant disguise!! Brilliant!’

Part II

The Face had a couple of friends over on Saturday evening.  Bearing in mind this is his 14th birthday, his best friend (also 14) bought him some condoms. I would imagine that in France, this is probably correct etiquette as they do like to start their human biology, section The Reproductive System, practical lessons early.

Whilst the Husband the Friend had a discussion about the price of condoms and in particular machine dispensed condoms, the Face told me that it was sensible to use condoms to avoid getting ‘Sida’ – that’s Aids in French. He said this with a straight face and I agreed up until the point he said:

‘yeah, also stops us getting rabies.’

HE IS PRICELESS!! The comedic value of that child is priceless.

 

Ok this blog is running on a bit. Next time, I’ll try to do less and more often? Or just less and less often……like my french homework, housework, food shopping, exercise………being a model human being……being intelligent……..

Until next time. G’day all my charming followers.

 

 

 

 

 

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